Over the past few months I thought I'd give this Tinder dating app malarky a go, I signed up quite on the spur of the moment at a dinner party at the recommendation of an excited friend who seemed rather enthusiastic at the time. As a confirmed single person I do every now and again imagine what it might be like to be in some sort of intimate relationship but well having been single for a good few years I think I can give or take that sort of thing by now.
Anyway it's quite an efficient system this Tinder, meandering your way through a series of profiles you can either swipe left or right or touch symbols 'X' or '♥' meaning you either like or don't like said prospective. Hopefully at some point you will get 'It's a Match!' which means you can go on to the next stage and start a DM (direct message).
Well I have got a few matches and I'm happy to say I've got a bit of queue going on but I'm not to sure how you get past the conversation part. Bit of chit chat, bit of banter some of it a bit saucy... *tip, be careful how you describe yourself on your profile, is there some sort of Tinder etiquette I haven't quite cottoned onto here? Some say this is Grindr for straights but you can choose your sexual orientation and go either way. Other people tell me they have friends who have found relationships from this app.
So anyway, blimey I thought, 'I see a window of opportunity here' and told said match okay, 'lets meet for a drink'. It was in the middle of London Fashion Week, we arranged the meet. He was late, not a good sign, it was somewhere I don't usually go to on the Kingsland Road, Saturday evening, a pub of no account. So yeah, it went okay... after a splash of red wine we went our separate ways. Fine, we obviously exchanged phone numbers so ping, that's when the texts went a bit 'Carry On' in my mind. 'So can I ask are you a little bit submissive?' He asked. Oh gawd, where did that come from? I'm Miss Vanilla in my mind, there was no sort of lead up to the line of rhetoric that ensued. In the end, because I thought it was a bit of a joke, the descriptions of him tying me up and rendering me helpless got a bit tiresome and vaguely hysterical. I suggested he take a visit to Torture Garden to but to no avail.
Tie me up? What Like this?
In the space of 24 hours I got bored of him and a bit bored of Tinder. I'm still on Tinder btw.